


Identity

by shieldivarius



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Gen, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 11:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1426300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieldivarius/pseuds/shieldivarius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Winter Soldier, Natasha reflects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Identity

Her hands were red again.

 _Ridiculous._ Chided the voice in her head. It sounded like Clint, except Clint would say _stupid_ or _the fuck’re you talking about_ instead of “ridiculous.” Her words. His voice. 

His voice, because god knew who she could trust anymore (no one), but she knew she could trust him. He wasn’t—wouldn’t be—HYDRA. 

Natasha stared down at her hands. Hands that had been accumulating the red, slowly, over the course of her time with S.H.I.E.L.D., when she’d thought S.H.I.E.L.D. was helping her clean it up, even if just a little bit at a time. Even if it seemed she constantly took two steps forward and three steps back.

This wasn’t three tiny steps back. This was returning to the very beginning. To that woman she’d been when S.H.I.E.L.D. had caught up with her. Even to before that, when she’d been a terrifying tool for the KGB to use at will.

A tiny little duffel bag sat on the bench next to her. Pieces of her life tossed pell-mell and clattering against each other in the black canvas confines. Her single life, because all of the rest of her lives were scattered across the internet, outing her to anyone who cared enough to do a little Googling—and a lot of people did, because the Black Widow was a known entity after New York.

Even if it had been necessary, that had been a _stupid_ move.

The cash in the bottom of the bag had already started her toward building one new identity. Natalie Richelieu, whose passport was in the breast pocket of Natasha’s coat, whose blonde hair matched the short, bouncy yellow ringlets around her ears. 

France was her first stop and from there she’d move into the political uneasiness of eastern Europe, where she could slip back into a Russian identity and set up at least for a little while. From there she would monitor what was left of S.H.I.E.L.D.—HYDRA—and think about contacting Clint. Reconnecting with him and hoping he didn’t suffer too much in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s collapse.

But first… Natasha’s hand clenched around the flash drive in her fist, and she released it long enough to look down at the black stick. 

First she needed to figure out _who_ she was. She’d told Steve she could be anything, at any moment, depending on what those around her needed. She thought she might have a friend in Steve now— _he_ trusted her. He’d told her as much, and after… After learning that maybe Fury hadn’t thought as highly of her as she’d thought, she needed that. Needed to know that someone as good as Steve Rogers thought that she was worth trusting.

A little 16GB flash drive shouldn’t have been her entire life, but it was, for now. She’d collected what she could of the S.H.I.E.L.D. files from online, in the time she’d been waiting for her new passport. When she’d set up overseas she’d find more of it. Everything relating to her, including files above her Level 6 clearance, ones that discussed her and S.H.I.E.L.D.’s profiling of her, from before and after she’d come to them. 

She needed time to read it all. More important, she needed time to monitor from a safe distance, and work out the public’s reactions to her. And she needed to know what her enemies were saying, what they knew, when they were going to come after her.

It was going to be a lot of work, starting over. But maybe, just maybe, it might give her perspective. A breath of fresh air, creating herself without active ties to any organization. Dangerous, freelancing, but freeing.

_“Flight 436 to Paris, France is now boarding at Gate 18.”_

Natasha smiled and stood, sliding the flash drive into the pocket next to her forged passport. 

Starting over could be good.

**Author's Note:**

> This barely even touches my Natasha feels coming out of this movie. But I had to write SOMETHING.
> 
> http://shieldivarius.tumblr.com


End file.
